Once the funeral is over and the casseroles stop arriving, there’s usually a stretch of a few weeks where nothing happens. Then someone raises the question of the stone.

By that point most families have no framework for deciding. You know the person. You don’t know what a slant marker is, or whether the cemetery will even allow one.

This is the short version of what we’d tell you on the phone.

This is the step people skip, and it’s the one that causes problems.

Most cemeteries have rules — what style they allow, maximum dimensions, foundation requirements, sometimes even permitted materials. Memorial parks in particular often allow only flat markers, because they mow with equipment that doesn’t work around uprights.

If you fall in love with an upright design and then find out the section only permits flush markers, you start over. So call the cemetery office first, or tell us where the plot is and we’ll confirm it before you spend any time choosing.

Everything below assumes you’ve checked.

The three shapes

Flat markers sit level with the ground. Clean, understated, and the only option at many memorial parks. They hold a name, dates, an inscription, and artwork or symbols without difficulty — you have less room than an upright, not no room. They also disappear under snow and grass clippings, which some families mind and others don’t.

Slant markers sit at an angle on a base. The practical advantage is legibility: you can read one standing up, without crouching. They give you more surface than a flat marker without the height or cost of a full upright. Cemeteries that ban uprights sometimes still permit slants, so they’re worth asking about specifically.

Upright monuments are what most people picture. Maximum visibility, maximum room, and the widest range of shapes, finishes, and design options. If you want a portrait, a scene, extensive text, or a family name readable from the road, this is the format that takes it. They need a proper foundation and they’re the largest investment of the three.

None of these is better. They solve different problems.

Granite or bronze

Granite is what we work in most. It comes in a real range of colors — light grays through deep blacks and reds — and it can be polished, textured, or shaped to almost anything. Darker granites hold etched detail best, which matters if you want a photograph. It handles Kansas weather without complaint, which is not a small consideration in a climate that swings from a hundred degrees to below zero.

Bronze is a plate, usually mounted on a granite base, with raised lettering. It has a distinct traditional look, and many memorial parks specify it. It develops a patina over time, which some families consider the point and others consider maintenance.

Cemetery rules often decide this for you. Where they don’t, it’s genuinely a matter of taste.

Getting the words right

This is the part that takes longest, and it should.

Name and dates are the foundation. Past that, the inscriptions that hold up over decades tend to be short and specific — a phrase the person actually said, a line from something they cared about, a reference only the family fully understands.

What doesn’t hold up is the generic. “Beloved father” is true of a great many people. What made him this father is the thing worth cutting into granite.

Take your time here. You get one pass, and we’d rather you sat with the wording for two weeks than approved a proof you’d second-guess later. We’ll show you exactly how it will look before anything is cut.

Symbols, artwork, and photographs

Military emblems, religious symbols, florals, landscapes, sports insignia, hobbies — all of these engrave well.

We also do impact etching, which reproduces an actual photograph in the stone. Not an illustration. On dark granite the result is striking, and for a lot of families it becomes the part of the memorial they visit for.

If you’re considering a photograph, mention it early, because it can influence which granite color makes sense.

How the process runs

You tell us the cemetery and roughly what you’re thinking. We confirm what that cemetery allows, and we talk through shape, material, size, and inscription.

Then we produce a proof — a scaled drawing showing exactly what the finished stone will look like, lettering and layout included. You review it. Most families go a few rounds on wording, which is expected and built into the schedule.

Once you approve it, we cut and engrave. Standard turnaround is about two months from approved design.

Setting is quoted separately, based on your cemetery’s foundation requirements and access, and appears as its own line on your invoice. Full detail on that is in our pricing guide.

If you’re not ready to decide

You don’t have to be. There’s no deadline on this, whatever anyone implies.

Some families order within a month. Others wait a year. Both are fine, and waiting sometimes produces a better memorial because the wording arrives when you’re not exhausted.

When you’re ready, tell us where the plot is and what you’re thinking. We’ll go from there.